Monday, November 23, 2009


I don't know what it is that makes people tick. Probably the need for social attention or the lack of can apply to all sorts of humanity's basic needs.

It's kind of weird if you think of it....People swarming together, congregating in masses like insects in a colony, just to survive and connect. Seems a little outlandish to think that way, but true. I always thought to myself, "Why is there such a need to be out there in the world? Being face to face, on the phone or online, so many ways to connect...Why do we need to be together?" It wasn't so hard to think up the answer: Need.

It's the need to be with someone after your loved one has passed away. The need to be around family around the holidays because you miss them. The need to be comforted when something go wrong. The need to share your happiness "just because." The need to have a conference with the boss because something came up for a project. Then there just "the need." A primal instinct that drives all of us.

I find it funny that people in relationships would also need to fight about things. To some, it's a normalcy, and to others, a headache. Maybe part of the reason why is because of the way people are raised or their beliefs. Mainly, it's because they're emotionally needy...At least, that's what I think. I could probably go on and on about this topic, but why would I have to? There are so many variables that relationships are based upon (including Astrology and the Chinese Zodiac) and so many books based upon it, that I don't even have to say a thing.

But why disappoint? Anyone loves a good love story.

Wistful wishes, I suppose. Everyone wants to be with someone. Actually, it's more of a need. Humans weren't made to isolate themselves from others. It drives them absolutely mad. Why do you think some have done suicide? Resentment and ostracized by their own peers pushes them to do so. Some who survive don't ever stay the same.

When you finally come to terms with yourself that you're okay, there are always other issues at hand....Issues that need to be fixed. Especially when you seem to think to yourself that everything was fixed is -well, on many occurrences- not fixed.

How can you fool yourself by saying, "I'm ready." When, in fact, you cannot step through the door. You need help. The anticipation kills us for not knowing what is out there. You, yourself in mind, falter from determination, and the last fragments of doubt linger teasingly in your ear. The area that you are in currently becomes a wonderful temptation, a comfort zone.

I may be young and still have my hormones to think about, but I miss the companionship that a relationship offered. Online friendships don't even come close to filling the gap. Text messaging doesn't even come close to any physical sense of being. Reliable, yes. Fulfilling, no.

So lost in the need for companionship, I forgot who I was.

But after thinking about it. I don't really need anyone. Right?

Friday, November 20, 2009

To do or Not to Do, That is the Question?

I don't know where to start when it comes to writing (or rather typing) in my blog again. It always seems a hassle to even try starting a new topic. I can't really say, "OMG! It's been soooo long, I'm soooooooo sorry guys!" That's kind of...1990s. Haha.

Anyways, to keep an update, I'm currently tending to my studies. I've finally decided to stick to a business degree. I found this very stimulating. I've always wanted to own my own business. But then again, doesn't everyone?

Speaking of which, John and I have discussed for quite a while about making our own business. I liked the idea at first, but once John started to push for the website deadline, I wanted out. Even now, I'm considering to make it out on my own. It might not be morally right, but if I want it done right, I have to do it myself. Right? Since I'm "helping" with the business and not really owning anything, I may be getting the short end of the stick here; Phil and Marc says so, too.

You can't promise stocks or royalties when nothing has been established yet!!!

You can't give empty promises when you don't even know the outcome either!

At times, I feel like I should just do it myself...but then I start getting self-conscious and I start feeling guilty for even thinking about it. But then again, I really want to do it myself. Either way, I'm going to start a business off.

Damn Marc for being right....